As parents interact with their babies, intuitive bio-behavioural processes gently support the development of physiological systems. So, does every cuddle count? Why does this age-old question still echo? Let’s see what science says, and how humans validate it.

New age parents are raising their babies amid a mix of time-tested traditions and fresh science. One longstanding dogma that ‘too much holding spoils a baby’ still crops up at family conversations, often accompanied by knowing glances from elders. However, neuroscience, psychology and plain common sense now propose a more comforting truth: you simply can’t spoil a baby by holding them. That warmth and closeness help shape your baby’s brain. It builds trust, security and a strong emotional foundation for the future. Let’s take a closer look at the facts and debunk the myths.

Babies Are Born to Be Held

No, your baby isn’t trying to manipulate you when he or she reaches for your arms. From the moment they’re born, babies are wired to seek closeness, are utterly dependent and need your touch. Skin-to-skin contact helps regulate their heartbeat, temperature and even blood sugar levels. Likewise, for premature or special-care babies, even the smallest touch offers comfort and aids healing. Holding your baby often in those weeks isn’t just soothing in the moment; it actually supports their brain development. Studies show that babies who are cuddled frequently tend to develop stronger emotional and cognitive skills.

Takeaway: Those physical gestures with your baby, for example, chest-to-chest or heartbeat-to-heartbeat, stimulate the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone.

Today’s Touch Goes a Long Way

Your body language, your tone of voice, and affectionate touch are all important ways of communicating with your baby. Embracing your baby isn’t just physical; it is neurological. Each cuddle, each gentle response to a whimper, a cry, or simply a cute yawn strengthens the neural pathways involved in the emotional regulation of infants.

Takeaway: In practical terms, babies raised with constant emotional support are better equipped to handle stress, show empathy and build strong social connections in the future.

Don’t Fear Your Baby’s Clinginess

Contrary to popular belief, meeting your baby’s needs doesn’t make them dependent; it makes them secure. The idea that responding quickly to a baby’s cries leads to long-term neediness is a widespread myth. In reality, babies who are consistently comforted develop secure attachment styles, which actually foster independence. As your baby grows, this sense of safety gives them the courage to explore and express themselves, knowing there’s always a trusted adult nearby.

Takeaway: Insecure attachment forms when emotional needs go unmet, not when they are fulfilled.

Crying It Out, Helpful or Harmful?

The ‘cry it out’ method may seem debatable. But the reality is that newborns rely on crying as their main communication tool. Ignoring those cries could make the baby feel abandoned and can trigger elevated cortisol (stress hormone) levels. This could affect brain development and stress regulation. And as babies approach 4–6 months, they naturally begin developing self-soothing skills. And sleep training can be effective for older babies under loving, structured conditions.

Takeaway: Be empathetic always. Don’t forcefully be strict, as comfort in these first months isn’t indulgent, it is protective.

Read Signs That Your Baby Needs More

Touch and interactions are as important to a baby's growth as food or sleep. Moreover, newborns aren’t subtle about their needs. If your baby is frequently restless, has trouble settling alone, their face is visibly not rested or cheerful enough, or cries persistently, despite being fed and changed, it may be their way of saying they need more reassurance. Don’t doubt your instincts. Responding with cuddles or skin-to-skin contact can soothe your baby and restore calm.

Takeaway: In the long run, they’ll grow to be more emotionally stable because of your responsiveness. Responding with love isn’t spoiling, it’s science-backed parenting.

Transitioning Towards Independence

Babies go through many phases in their development. Eventually, all babies begin to crave autonomy. However, that doesn’t mean you need to withhold affection early on. Around four to six months, babies become more curious and capable of short periods of independent play. You could begin with safe and short periods of independent play with appropriate toys, and maybe watch from a distance.

Takeaway: Now is the time to introduce gentle routines that encourage confidence, familiarise them with cuddles from other trusted members, and continue to respond sensitively to their signs.

Hopefully that clears up a few doubts. Science, instinct, and love all point in the same direction—your touch truly matters. So next time you are in a dilemma, you know why not to waste time in giving your loved one, the hug, the cuddle or the tender squish…!